Review the Ten Commandments of Intercultural Communication article and provide an example of how and when you might apply these basic guidelines.

The longer we listen to one another -- with real attention -- the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.
- Barbara Deming

      I love the above quote by Barbara Deming and I feel it is very appropriate for this discussion about intercultural communication.  As Martin Hahn (2005) pointed out in his article “Ten Commandments of Intercultural Communication” we have to take responsibility for our communication.  This means that we have to show respect to others even if they are different than us.  We should not be judgmental, thinking our way is the best and if we do like Barbara Deming states in her quote and get to know each other by exchanging our life stories and not our opinions we will see we have more in common than we think.

          
  I work for Massage Envy which is a Franchise for massage and facial treatments.  At this particular location in Reston, Virginia, there are at least 6 different cultures represented.  The massage therapists come from many different countries.  There is one massage therapist in particular who does not speak very good English but she is very sweet and kind.  Even though there may be a little communication gap between her and the clients, she is requested often.  What she may lack in verbal communication she has very good non-verbal communication.  The same is for a male therapist from South Korea, his clients love him as he is very considerate and kind.  His demeanor is calm and restful so as a massage therapist he is very effective in giving his clients a very relaxing massage.

            I have no difficulty with intercultural communication as I have traveled and lived all over the world.  I feel very fortunate to have been given this gift. As Hahn (2005) pointed out that we need to be patient and persistent at times.  Living in Northern Virginia very close to Washington DC is an area where there are many different cultures, but tonight I ran into a situation where all of a sudden I was put into a sub-culture that I had not thought of before. 

            I was outside shoveling my car out of the snow bank.  My car was parked in a parking spot on the street in front of a row of townhouses.  There was an elderly woman shoveling her sidewalk, and I started a conversation with her feeling we were in the same situation.  Apparently she did not feel the same way.  As she was the owner of the townhouse she was shoveling in front of and because I was parked on the street and not in a driveway she instantly put me in the renter’s category which is true I do rent the townhouse with two other people. She then told me I was not supposed to park on the street.  After I patiently and respectfully told her that my roommates are parked in the driveway so I have to park on the street she went onto say that she paid a lot of money as an owner and she is supposed to have two parking spots on the street as well as her garage and driveway.  I apologized for not being as wealthy as her, I work two jobs and go to school fulltime so at this time I have to rent but hope to be as fortunate as her someday and be able to become a homeowner. 

             Even though we are from the same country and culture, the difference of our financial and economic status put us in subcultures.  This woman needs some lessons on intercultural communication.  She judged me just because of my financial status without even knowing me as a person. 

             Hopefully she learned a valuable lesson tonight as while I continued shoveling while she was putting me down, two of my neighbors came over and helped me shovel my car out.  Even though she was an elderly woman shoveling, no one helped her.  As Hahn (2005) states you need to send a clear message.  The clear message that was sent to her was if you are mean to people no one is going to help you.  Even though I started out by emphasizing the common ground of shoveling snow she was unable get past her own cultural bias, if she even realized she had one.

             Sometimes it is easier for me to have cultural sensitivity to the people I work with that are from other countries than with people who look down on other people due to their differences.

Reference

 Hahn. Martin. (2005, December 30). Ten Commandments of Intercultural Communication.        Ezine @rticles. Retrieved fromhttp://ezinearticles.com/?Ten-Commandments-of-Intercultural-Communication&id=120247 

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